myaurora

Sunday, October 30, 2005 { 8:04 PM }

tnr AO chi exam but i onli read up the idioms lehz....sian liao tmr also get progress report...n hav to sit fer the stupid three hr paper which i originally did nt hav to de....haiz~....haha.......n hav to stay back fer pw...haven go n reallie look at the presentation of my grp's ppt........

today ar also quite a sian day lehz....but den wif my grandma arnd at least still a little bit livelier n better.....haha....my grandma, 82 years old this year, haha, still fit n strong.....no illness! (many old people of this age would hav some kind of illness liao) oh man dat is gd larhz haha! :)........maybe she live all alone in msia so is like she can non-stop talking when she come over the my house to stay larhz.....haha......though my dialect a bit rusty larhz but den still ok larhz......use this chance to kind of like sharpen it again.....ya my mum n her always got lotsa things to talk abt de larhz......like non stop radio like dat.....hahaha....oops shldnt bad mouth the both of dem here....haaha....

tell u more abt her next time den :).......hav to prepare fer tmr le.....

"i shall conquer......."

pai seh so late den blog....coz juz returned from m'sia from dinner......ya...today basically i woke up quite early larhz (which i reluctantly) n headed straight to my grandma's hse.....oh man the weather in m'sai is like so damned hot lorhz...cannot tahan liao n i am always sweating all the way......n my whole body is like so damn sticky n sweaty.....had lunch dere n add a lot of stuff, basically things like char siew bao n chicken rice larhz......haha...ya n nt forgetting to buy some bubble gum home to chew n blow bubbles...den sleep at my grandma's hse fer a while n i woke up sweating like crazy n v sticky, with my face covered with oil n yucks....haha.....

went fer aunt's wedding anniversary dinner at arnd 7.30 pm in a restaurnt....yeah had a lot of gd food dere, like shark fin soup, scallops, cake! n many many more until v full.....n had a lot of gd laughters too.....the atmosphere was gd n den my cousins dey all still got like had a presentation of the photos of my aunt n my uncle on their childhood till their wedding n till now....juz like describing a story line of my aunt n uncle...yeah i ate quite a lot.....hahaha.......

left the resturant at arnd 1030 pm n head straight back to spore....n guess wad? my grandma agreed to come over to my hse n stay fer few days!!!....haha....happy coz it is not easy to invite her, as she is always v lazy to come over......ya, my cousin drove us over to spore (oh man saves us a lot of time as dere is no nid to wait fer that stupid 170) but den is like the custom checkpoint is always jammed larhz.....so is like by the time we reach spore n speeding down the expressway, it is already 12 plus le.....can imagine how jia lat is the jam??.......but den got car to sit so i wont complain so much i guess......

"the day will come......i will......."

Friday, October 28, 2005 { 7:05 PM }

last day of sch......ya....though next mon is chi AO.......well today in sch didnt feel quite well coz didnt sleep well last nite i guess....didnt look happy n v blurred so guys pls pardon me fer today.....n partly due to the fact dat the status is still unknown yet i am getting from anxious to angry coz mr kwek say today the status will be made known to us n now wad the hell......didnt tell us......i will forgive him larhz coz today is his last day in sch n a special assembly was organised fer him...yeah i tink it is v touching larhz......the "father" of pjc....hmm i tink is v nice to see a sch start from scratch n hav such an acheivement till today, in a space of five years....

in sch i always get people asking me whether i am okay or nt......ok if u guys see my blog, i wanna tell u all dat i am really alright ok? :)....i may hav appeared to be unhappy but den i juz wanna tell u all dat i am facing this crisis in a positive manner....of course u cannot ask me to completely hide my feelings abt my exam thing, dat is nt possible u see, on the verge of being retained and maynot be given a chance fer re-exam, can i pretend dat nothing has happened?....well i hav tried my best to face this le n i guess i still nid to improve on it?....maybe one gd news is dat mr yap told us dat our class those who didnt pass promos will most likely to get re exam as he said dat all subject tutors had very positive comments on our class....ya......i hope something gd gonna appear larhz........

"ur studying method correct or nt?....even got re exam den u muz see whether u study correctly or not......." got people popped this qns up to me. Frankly speaking, from sec sch, i hav tried various method of studying larz but den it onli ends up with the same kind of result every year....hahaha......i see dat dere is no more time for "experimental" studying method liao n so far i tink the best way for me to study is to sit down at the chair n study, practice n memorising by myself.....but den i really nid to seek more help from teachers, esp maths....no more tuition means i hav to fight the battle alone......so far i hav kickstarted my revision for my re-exam but den i am nt going to move n study much until i offcially receive my status........already did an econs essay for demand n supply chapter n i planning to do more to ask mr yap to help me mark.....coz for the promos it was the essay dat reallie killed me off, not MCQ or DRQ.....if nt fer dat i would hav pass liao.........

oh man tmr going to msia....to attend a dinner....my auntie having her wedding anniversary in hotel.....n my shoe got a hole!......got to mend it liao.....haha....n i dun even noe wad clothes to wear!......haven buy new clothes fer such a long time dat couldnt remember when was the last time i bought my clothes.....n my sandals also broke liao!....but den dat one is minor, still can mend......

some people ar i dunno y larhz but den they walk v fast lehz....i find dat one such person is zhiying....well dunnoe is i slow or he fast, everytime walk with him to the bus stop ar i find dat would be panting like crazy n gasp for breath while he would seems ok lehz.....nt dat i nvr do excerise lehz now almost everyday i would go for a run in the evening liao.....i juz dunnoe y larhz.....hahaha hmm.....if i walk alone i prefer to walk v slowly....n i tink is so slow dat a tortise could catch up......well everybody nt the same ba but so far quite a lot of people i met dey walk quite fast de.........

i believe my beliefs.......i am.......

Thursday, October 27, 2005 { 6:24 PM }

me now blogging from sch's laptop.......ya.....today is another freaking day larhz, do PW again but den today's progress is quite a lot so i guess didnt reallie waste the day off....

tmr is the release of the status! (which means whether i noe i get promoted or re exam or retain)...my frenz dey all give me the vote of confidence dat i would be allowed to take re exam but den seriously i hav no idea.....though mr yap also tell me dun worry lehz....

A02 outing during the nov hols???.....i tink the class is going to discuss abt dat tmr during CT time?.....haha well go to Marina dere to hav steamboat dinner?....wah den is like this year i would be going dere the third or fourth time liao?.....det also suggest sentosa but den if go sentosa again den is like going dere for the fifth or sixth time liao?.......somebody also suggested going to mr yap's hse fer outing but den he seems v reluctant abt it...well i think i am wif anything ba, juz as long as to hav fun den jiu can le......

oh man lin lao shi is going to leave the college next year fer ACJC ....hmm.....a bit shocking actually coz is like i tink she is one of the best teacher i hav ever met larhz.....den she leaving...so sad lehz......her reason was she prefer a change in an enviroment n she doesnt wan to stay in the comfort zone fer too long......n anyway she came from ACJC n she say dat she still has a feeling fer dere so well.......n den dey say mr kwek leaving fer Nanyang JC next year n MOE is going to send someone to PJ to be the new principal....n mr kwek is a gd principal lorhz....coz he is v friendly towards students n interacts wif us....i rmb a few occasions where i reallie got to tok to him larhz....n today i went to the office to loan laptop, u noe wad he said??? he said muz use laptop on the lap or else we cannot use it.....i tried to control my laughter n immediately after getting out of the office, i burst out laughing......oh man why on earth is dere such a "funny"principal........

Principal leaving, lin lao shi leaving, n dere hangs possibility dat our class might be merged.....are these a sign dat i am going to leave PJ soon? right now seriously i am confused, confused abt my future.......as long as my status is nt out yet, i will be confused.....ya i reallie hope to get my confusion cleared asap....soon as annouced.......it will be great if i am given a second chance...coz i noe where my mistakes lie n i am eager to rectify n let myself shine....or else if i hav to go poly den i am also a bit confused though......coz hav to go find a job first n the long wait fer next year' JAE.....some of den told me i could call the poly n apply directly to dem n secure a place but den is dat reallie true?....well i would prefer to think thru it throughly first b4 i make any decisions.....

well no matter wad i told myself to stay calm n strong....n i keep reminding myself try nt to tink so much.....n i am also trying nt to write so much in this blog abt my future....lin lao shi said to me to let fate decide the outcome n ask me nt to tink so much......n she said she is confident in me of my future....ya......A02 has been v encouraging to me........ya if i am offered to take re exam den i would nt let dem down.......

"i will make it......."

Wednesday, October 26, 2005 { 10:52 PM }

today did nothing much though...go school, had PE lessons n played basketball during PE...basketball nt reallie my cup of tea but den i played wif dem lorhz....n found some fun playing wif my classmates....n i find dat i reallie nid to learn much more to play basketball in a better way i guess.....

GP lessons did nothing much also.....do PW.....wif my grp member......hav to burn some cd fer sheng thin...n is quite a lot but den i enjoy doing dat.....n also it will add to my song collection :D......n huei shi did up quite a lot of slides of our presentation....well is a bit tough on her lehz...me tried to help her lorhz........

nowadays basically go school is PW PW PW n nothing else liao......n upcoming AO exam.....i tink i onli study it during the weekends?....teacher told us fer pple like us who take Chi A, this AO exam is juz like a guage fer our standard?.....haha....well....waste money?......i tink so......dunnoe larhz..... n the college tie is $10.30!!!!!!!....i thought got new design but den it turn out to be the same thing.....dey told us it wont be the same.......well.........i noe it wont be the same supplier........ya go sch also crack jokes larhz, esp sam n meng bing, wah lau the mos qian4 bian3 pple i have ever noe lorhz....wad ever is happening around dey can make a joke out of it.....

yeah i gave Adrienne a call in the evening but den she nt in....until nine plus den she called me back......well i so long nvr tok to her le so we juz toked for a while.....ya i noe her fer almost 5 years le since sec one n she is one of my best buddy i ever had.....reallie cherished my frenship wif her....haa...

well today i nvr reallie think too much abt my promotion thingy....maybe i reallie learn to put it aside first.....coz the final decision by the sch is nt known yet.....i also dun wan to guess.........

live my everyday to the fullest!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 { 11:40 PM }

i didnt smile much in school though...no mood lehz....maybe is becoz i dun even noe whether i am being offered a chance fer re-exam...but den i tink life has to go on n den i am going to give out my best fer the upcoming PW n AO chinese exam.......

talked to my mum abt my future....well my mum didnt reallie scold me......it is juz dat if i go poly den i hav to give up my chinese, which is my strongest subject n the subject which i reallie had a passion for....i dunnoe whether i shld juz give it up like this?...i hav another option; dat is to join NIE to study Diploma in Chinese Teaching.......earlier this year i actually hav passed thru an interview with MOE n has been offered a place to study dat diploma but den many of my fren has advised against me from going fer that course coz is like the prospect fer that course is nt reallie v gd....well i could go fer that again?.....another option is to join Ngee Ann's chinese studies...but den i hav difficulty meeting dat criteria....hav to go fer inteview......but den i tink i most likely will wan to do chemical engineering coz i eyed fer dat course b4 release of Os result....well juz dat PJC has such strong attraction dat i chose it again??....haha....ya....

i guess mr yap said something which was reallie true: even if u get promote, will u be able to pass ur A level dat is enough to get u into university?.....this sentence is enough to make me think again.....n juz now when i toked to my mum she also brought up this point..........

i dunnoe ar but den fer me personally i tink i could do much better den this, esp fer maths....coz is like my stats i onli scored 2 marks out of the possible 40 marks!
...how could dat be....maybe is becoz i did pure maths section first, den got too stressed den i forgot everything abt stats.......n my pure maths is nt gd at all.......n i counted on stats to help me!........my econs also, MCQ n DRQ were alright but my essay i onli got 12 out of 75 marks!........this is like......test i thought were ok.......well.....maybe dat is the problem without mid-year exam ba....coz i always use mid year exam as a guage to improve my self....b4 the exam i already tell pple dat i might flunk my promos coz dere is no mid year to like kind of "help" me....

well i guess wad is done is done...i also dun even noe whether i am being offered a chance fer re exam? coz is like sch's policy is u nid to hav 1 A n 2AO pass b4 they offer u reexam?.....i onli got 1A n 1AO pass....mr yap says he dunnoe but den will dey give me a chance?....i can onli pray hard.....

of cuz i tink this time round my exams i am quite satisfied wif my chinese ba....though i tink language could be a bit better....the lit part i was quite surprised dat my kong yi ji essay qns i got 13.5 out of 20!....i didnt study kong yi ji much.....coz i wanted to give my full attention to lin shi bao fo jiao n san xia zhong......but den fer dat two qns i onli got 9/20 fer both qns......funny right.....well overall i got a C fer chinese? or B...i nt too sure.....gp i got 45 marks?.....was lucky man......my compo saved me.....coz my compre was in a mess.....

"where will i go from here??......." dat is the qns i hav been asking myself...i am nt reallie to upset to live on or feeling damn sad coz i failed my promos but den i am feeling a bit confused instead....retaining is out of qns coz doing the new syllabus is like.....well....i tink the new syllabus requires u to do four compulsory sub.....one sci n arts sub.....if i cant do three sub den how am i going to take four sub???...nt dat i am afraid to lose face becoz i "retained", anyway so many years of education i hav been scolded so many times fer failures dat i am immune to it, but is juz dat i am thinking from the point of feasibilty n reality....even when i pass my re exam(i hope dere is), can i cheong all the way to my As?.....

dere r really many things to tink abt it, but as lin lao shi said, when i met her when i was abt to go home ,she told me to take things easy n see how it goes....she said even eventually i dun get promoted n go poly, she said at least i noe JC isnt the place fer me....ya......

i tink i stop here ba......my hand r tired....i better sleep to get charged up fer tmr......coz dere r many things to do like PW, AO chinese......

Monday, October 24, 2005 { 5:29 PM }

got back my results.......didnt do well.....onli passed Chi A N GP.....well....kind of like expected it?....haha.......well i guess this hol is nt going to be easy fer me......re exam?....dunnoe lehz i hope mr yap recommend me......though i didnt fulfill the requirement fer rex exam....1A and 2AO pass.....i onli got 1A and 1AO....i juz hope i can get thru this........no mood to type much..... :(

Sunday, October 23, 2005 { 5:40 PM }

ok today was boring....while other grps had their pw meeting, my grp didnt....well, gd in a sense dat i could had a proper n gd break on a lazy sunday...well, helped my mum do house work, den had instant noodles fer lunch coz my mum n my bro went to town to get something....recently played quite a lot of FIFA 2002 world cup (is a bit old lehz....) n used England, my favourite team....n outplayed every team in the game n.....lost to Spain in the final game!....damn....wasnt too happy coz i could win Brazil, the strongest team in the game....haha well i guess in life dere r ups n downs..........sometimes in life u could deafeat someone who is better n stronger den u but u tend to be out smarted by someone who is weaker den u due to complacency....

well promos results are out tmr n i am kind of scared......coz i already noe my maths got a F!.....i tink my econs r better but den i dunnoe whether can pass or nt coz i got a F fer CA, i tink dat is a psycological barrier....but i tink i can...well..... Chinese i tink shld be ok.....no "A" though....a few days ago lin lao shi say she could see dat i worked v hard....well is dat a clue to my result??....haha well i dun wanna guess........

these few weeks i hav been reflecting a lot.....ya, abt myself n wad i did over the past few months.....i dunno whether i am hardworking? but den i onli noe i seems quite stressed out...n in the end i kept failing tests?.....i dunnoe y larhz this year i am extremely stressed quite easily....my O level days nt even so jia lat lorhz....maybe coz due to extremely competitve environment ba.....rmb the gd old days when i was in new town....i could slack like crazy n no pressure fer me to be stressed coz my frenz dey all also slack, well......maybe dat kind of environment is better fer me?...but den each has its own gd i muz say coz honestly, i can communicate wif A02 better den E4/4.....

" If fail promos den go poly lorhz!...." dat is wad i always hear from pple saying, but to tink of it, u hav to give up a lot of things when u transfer to poly....u waste one year in junior college, waste one year of ur life, leave ur frenz n the comfort zone dat u r in fer the past few months....n fer me, i hav to give up my favourite sub-- chinese (unless i go ngee ann n take chinese studies)....basically, in a lot of pple's perspective, failing promos is a disastrous thing dat can ever happen....retaining is an option but den i tink dat is nt fesible fer me coz is like our batch is the last batch to take the old syllabus so i tink no point repeating.......n hav to take the compulsory four sub....three sub cant handle le den y take four sub?......

will going to poly next year happen to me?....i dunnoe....my mum as always said dat i am lucky coz every year i pass my exams wif juz a mere pass....n enter junior college wif 20 pts....n mum wans to see if i am so lucky again to pass my promos wif a border pass.......but den it seems like the odds are stacked against me, juz like if dere was a soccer match between Brazil n Singapore, of cuz u will put ur money in Brazil......i am like Singapore.....

i try nt to tink so much fer now coz fer the past two weeks, although exams r over, i haven been truly happy.....although i am smiling more often den juz b4 promos......dunnoe y but den something juz keep bothering me larh.....well, i will keep myself in a positve way n try nt to affect my daily life....

well, i hope god bless me fer tmr n it will be a gd day fer me??......i hope so......

Saturday, October 22, 2005 { 5:54 PM }

hi everone i juz got a blog n new to blogging so i guess my blog is nt as exciting as it looks....

actually the idea of getting a blog fer myself popped up from my mind early this year but den i hav procrastinated of signing up fer one as i v lazy.....ya......

well anyone seeing this pls come back fer more stuff...i will be blogging quite often i guess...... yup.......

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-Lim Zhi Yuan
-21, going 22
-29041988
-Pei Tong Primary, New Town Secondary, Pioneer JC, Ngee Ann Poly (BME)

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